the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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