Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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