im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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