My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
