I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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