porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
