I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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