I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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