How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize