I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
false alarm. still invincible.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
