i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
