need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
