New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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