dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize