She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also, beer. Big fan.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
