happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
how does that bad decision feel?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
