He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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