I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Randomize
