im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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