Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
