I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
