So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
