what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
