I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
