so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize