babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
