This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you didnt know i had herpes?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
