she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
