My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
