You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize