I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
