and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
