Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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