his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
