We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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