he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
