I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
