It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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