There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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