I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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