he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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