How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
