im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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