new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
