Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
