You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
