smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
