oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
