Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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