My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
