I have demons in me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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