Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
