I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
