Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
