my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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