Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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