Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
