Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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