i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize