Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
