It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
