Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
