i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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