If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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