If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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